Flare=Fear

First off, the road to recovery has hit a major pothole. I will not lie, I am discouraged beyond belief. I just cannot give up hope, though. I have had so many reeling thoughts: am I done with the healing process and this is as far as I'll get? Was last month's sitting and doing stuff with zero pain just a fluke? I am full of emotions. It is hard to fall down the ladder a few rungs. I haven't even been able to hear clearly from God for direction-- I've literally woken up, knelt in the corner like a child, and cried out to Him for direction for everything from my thoughts to what I will do with my day in order not to make things worse and hopefully to make things better. In my heart, I HAVE to believe that God will honor my prayers and my transparency with Him- I mean, He knows it all anyways, right? Simple lyrics from the very anointed song that I've posted before: "I'll fight your battles-- IF YOU WILL ONLY TRUST ME." Ok- how? My mind is so muddy. So, I need peace. God promises that and many other things in His Word. Like this: Protection: The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV) - From Bible Promises for iPhone http://biblepromises.reigndesign.com/ Mercy needed. I need mercy to not even have fear. Pain is physical and real... But sovereign over all is God. His will is for m to have life to the fullest. He knows the desires of my heart. He who began a good work in me (my healing) will surely complete it. Jessica just needs prayers tonight. And I am so ready to be covered again.