Monday, May 23, 2011

Anxiety will be turned into VICTORY

I am anxious. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. (Phillipians 4:6)
And? And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 4:7)

Sooo.......... God (talking in Junior Asparagus voice for added effect), I know you're bigger than the boogie man (my pain, the pudendal nerve entrapment, whatever). So, will you come into my mind and guard it and take me out of this pit, this circle of hell that the enemy wants me to remain in? (Ok, Junior Asparagus wouldn't go that far to say that....) Junior would just say, "God, fix my problems, mkay? Thanks, Love, Junior"

Junior didn't take any Ativans. Junior was not on Valium. Junior fell and got a bruised knee and just knew God would fix it. I want Junior's faith.

When I went to the Cleansing Stream retreat this past weekend, I heard a few things. Many interceded for me for specific things. One thing I was told twice is this verse: My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Another time, when I was renouncing the spirit of infirmity, the prayer partner simply knew I had nerve damage in my pelvis. He told me while praying for me that God would unravel the scar tissue from around the nerves and space would be made for them. Prophetic? I think so. I bet you any money this is what I need. Well, I know I have scar tissue and I know the Alcock's canal is a tight squeezy of a space.

Surgery. 5 weeks from today I will be done with my right sided decompression. I am praying that at the same time, Dr. Hibner can fix what needs fixed on my left (always has been my worst side, even after these 6.5 months). Please, God, please please please please please I am begging you take my pain away. Show your MERCY!

I can hear from God the most clearly when I am entrenched in deep worship. I was so fortunate to be able to attend the Bay of the Holy Spirit revival in Youngstown, Ohio recently. I wrote to my PNE friend, A, from CA, who was watching the revival live online at the time, via text after God showed me this during worship:

A, I want healed so badly. God gave me pictures of His love for me, while carrying the cross. His nerves were severed for me, He cried on the cross as He died for me, His mother wept, He cried in pain on the cross but He did it so I would be healed.

He was mocked and scourged and spit on but he had MY healing in HIS wings when He flew forth alive from that tomb.

Every tear He cried as He had his nerves ripped apart, He did it so that mine would someday be made whole.

I wanted to put this into writing, not only so I would remember, but that someone else might be touched. You may not even suffer with Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, but just put your request in the spot of where I put "nerves" or something else.

I haven't blogged in weeks as I've been so physically attacked. God thank you for giving me the strength and endurance to write this tonight.

I want to share a song God has put on my heart. It is a very anointed song. God bless.





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