I can give support.
I can give encouragement.
I can be real.
I can pray.
I can praise God.
I can BELIEVE.
I love my PNE friends, my fellow sufferers... someday, we will be fellow people who are BETTER and freed from this horrible hell pain that is all-consuming. I pray that it is replaced with the all consuming fire of the Holy Spirit. I pray that we are all used for the Lord.
On a side note, you may be a family member suffering because your spouse is in so much pain and torment, and you have no way to reach them. You may be a hurting mum, worried about her son/daughter's seemingly incurable disease.... watching them crumble before your eyes while you can't do anything about it.... You may be a neighbor, a friend, watching your pal fade away, threatening suicide, feeling despair.
Yes... more reality from the PNE world. Oh, God, I pray the PNE doctors read my blog somehow and that they can see how truly important they are to us suffering. They aren't Gods. They are only men. But, God can use their hands to heal. Please let them know that. And, we patients aren't crazy. We only want a slice of life back. No..... we want IT ALL. We deserve it all!!! We are human. We want peace in our bodies. I will continue to pray and "roll in my holy-rolled-ness" (haha) for these PNE doctors and for more to be raised up.
God we need help.
I want to burn my ice packs. Is that possible???? Can I set a blowtorch to my Lyrica? How about I throw away the Valium? I'll give it to the neighbor's smelly cat. Just kidding. I want OUT. I'm done with the PNE club. I'm leaving the lunch table.
2 comments:
Please don't leave the lunch table, we need each other and we need u. Once you are healed then we need to hear how your life has changed, how grateful you are, how it took a long time to heal, to give hope to those people who are healing. Me, I'm almost there but I see I will be suffering probably for another year, but not like I did 12 months ago. Jessica, I need you, I read your blog. please don't leave the lunch table.
Jessica: please don't leave the lunch table for there is going to be fine time when you dine and able to sit comfortable. we need you to stay, share how the journey was long but there will come a time when we all will sit at the table comfortable without the drugs, ice, etc. I know this is hard, it is hard for us all, and we really need one another to get through this. I too want to go back to school and finish my RN and get an on-call job as an LPN. I have made no money in 6 years, I have no retirement, can't get disability because i worked for the state. My life is very hard, times I feel like killing myself for I wonder if there will ever be a time I will work again, or be pain free. But I keep my faith in the Lord and know that Satan will not win my soul, so I stay strong and keep on trying/healing.
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