In the past week, I have been privileged to sing sweet hymns to my dying grandmother, stroking her weary head and cradling her bony body in my arms. I never knew that I could be a ministering angel. Someone put it like this to me, "well, Jessica, she probably cradled you in her arms when you were born... you were her first biological grandchild..." Anyways, what is important is that despite her illness that has lingered on and wracked her body for three painful years now, she has voiced to God her desire to leave this earth and be with Him in Heaven. When I knelt by her bed and cradled her I felt the presence of someone behind me where I at least 5 times looked over my shoulder to see if someone was there. I felt so at peace that I didn't even care if she died in my arms... and I have never been in anyone's presence when they have died before. I pray our merciful God takes her soon.
You know, she always prayed for me and my struggle and BELIEVED for my total healing. Almost 2 years ago, after my TG surgery, she brought me a simple ornamental piece that says "Believe" in script. I have it in my kitchen. I will never stop believing. I have come so far and I give God all the glory for directing me in all the right places. I am so blessed to have had the healing hands of Prof. Oskar Aszmann and Dr. Haibin Wang touch me and help guide me back to the purpose-driven life I so desire to lead. Our physicians deserve more credit! Next time, give them a hug. They may be shocked, but believe me, they deserve it.
I adore my new piano. I am thrilled that when I get up from playing it, the part of me that aches the most is not my pelvic floor or the area where I sit, but my shoulders from tensing up to play the notes with skill and musicality. God is so good! Ohhhh--- glory Hallelujah.
So, as the rain falls, I think to a song that touches me yet to this day, "Even Me."
Lord I hear of showers of blessing thou art scattering full and free
Showers the thirsty soul refreshing, let some drops now fall on me
Even me, Lord, even me, let some drops now fall on me
Even me, Lord, even me, let some drops now fall on me
Father, enlarge my territory. Send me to the nations, if it be Your will. I have my Passport and I'm ready to go. I know You will have me go back to Austria someday. Thank you, God for putting me in contact with Greg Mundis, World Missions Director for the Assemblies of God and the founder and former pastor of Vienna Christian Center. I was so excited to tell him my whole story!!!
Readers, please believe. I love you.
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