Flare Up = No fun

I went to PT on Tuesday. It was my fifth session. My second internal exam. She lightly pressed on the sacrospinous ligament on the right side. I think she did this both internally and externally. The Alcock's canal runs right near there. Everything is so close. Anyways, I've been flared now for days since then. Nothing is helping. Constantly sitting on Polar Ice packs. I think I may be close to giving up PT, well at least internal. I can't go down this road again. I declined so fast and was in so much pain with my 4 months of PT before my TG surgery in November. It was too much. I want to go for a walk, get some fresh air, something. But I know that until this flare passes, it will just continue to aggravate my entrapped nerve. I am talking about the right side here. My left side was freed during the TG surgery in November. So now I only have one side entrapped. I guess I am going to end up being a bilateral. I hope the pain goes away. Maybe the scar tissue is so minute that it can die down and go away and not bother me. Pushing on the nerve certainly won't help though. I can't go through it again. I'd rather have the pins and needles than the stabbing feeling in the Alcock's canal. That is (and was, for my left side, previously) the ultimate worst. Feeling like you have a knife in there and just want to pull it out.

J and I are going to travel sometime to the revival in Mobile. I need strengthened in my faith and in the healing power of God. God can do anything. He can remove scar tissue and restore my nerve to health without a surgeon's scalpel. I knew in my heart that I would have to have surgery on my left, but I still haven't received that confirmation yet in my spirit about the right side. Maybe it's too soon to tell (just 13 weeks out today), but still. Week after week of sitting (haha, I mean lying) here with ice "down there" just isn't a quality of life. J and I deserve so much more. We deserve LIFE. How can we make a LIFE while this is going on? That is our challenge. If anyone has some suggestions, I'd be happy to take them.

Thank you.

Yup. That's how I feel today. Ker*Plunk. Tables turned. Right side worse than left. Left side healing? Yes. I trust in that. Right's been hurting a lot lately, just haven't posted it. But I'm posting it tonight. Will I be one of the ones that have to go through another surgery to get rid of this darn scar tissue surrounding my poor nerve? Time to start seeking answers again. Oh, Lord. What do You have for me? What is the purpose in this pain? Faith like an apostle? Martyrdom? Am I dramatic? (YES) I am human.

I want a sibling for A.

What else do I want? I want, I want I want. What do you want, God?

Jeremiah 31:3 (New King James Version)

³ The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying:

“ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.

Love, me Lord, and take away my anguish. Set me free from this bondage. The ups and downs. This is PNE. Ahhhhhhhh! Someday, someday...... I will beat this. We will beat this!!! I can't give up!! I'm like Rocky......... I may be down for the count, but I'll beat you in the end. (Theme song playing in my head). Are you sick of reading my post? Ok, good. Cause I'm sick of writing it. Please just pray for me tonight. Thank you all.