Tonight, I would say all of these pictures fit me in some way or another. Although, I haven't cried since this morning. I almost cried while writing texts to my friend Sharon about how J has to put A to sleep instead of me rocking her and singing to her like I used to. However, this morning, I actually cried while petting the dog. And mind you, I don't like the dog too much. This shows how far off the deep end I've really come. I said to the dog, with tears in my eyes, "remember when we used to run together, and I'd take you to the dog park, and we'd go lay down in the grass in the park when you were a puppy, when you'd chase me around and around?"
God, how I miss being pain-free! Please, people: don't EVER take your health for granted!! Mine was snatched away at what was supposed to be one of the best times of my life (pregnancy and birth and growth of our only child, A.) Why!? Why!!!!!??
I'm lamenting, I know. Maybe I should eat the other half of the Caramel filled Fat Witch brownie I ordered last week. Ugh, or not...
I asked J today, "will I ever get better?" and he said "I hope so." Wrong answer. The answer was supposed to be "yes." But, I can't blame him for being scared either.
Faith. Faith. Faith. Faith. Faith. Faith. FAITH.
2 comments:
I "feel" your pain! My husband puts our daugther to bed because it is so painful for me. But a couple nights a week he works late and I have to do it and it makes me so sick to my stomach because I just want it to hurry up and be over with because of the pain! Your comment about the dog cracked me up because I am the SAME way! When we are cured of this pain we should meet and run with our dogs and let our girls play together :)
Hang onto faith in our Jesus. Be encouraged by 1 Peter 4:12 and Romans 5:2-5. Have joy because you are a child of God and even a pain free life can't compare with that! (I have to remind myself of that daily)
FAITH.
Remember God's promises.
You are going to come out of this.
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